d'XYZs are d'Basics ad'Quockspeak'n


Velkim Quozen der’now! So’z all d’g–d’g–d watingtings double plus data’n Demeus z’ear vit wemeus phar all d’great’gloreaze data’be coom’n now ven demeus goin’ tru all d’lessens vaht be in demeus ‘ands right cheer right now. Vaht a grrrrreat watingtings phor demeus to be ‘ear’n wemeus weirdein undz d’wizdumb a’wemeus! Threwly an Honor it’z phar demeus! Patt’n demeuselph on d’back phar mak’n diz vunderkind decizion! Az to wemeus given demeus d’z great honor, neinein need t’tank’us. But we’be zez, Yewr Velkim!

Now proceed’n, all d’lessen vaht be in diz’boox be preceded by d’recommended video. d’Should be viewed undz listened to in d’sacred space. z’Student vil enter undz holy space a’d’spirit undz a’d’mind undz a’d’body vit d’appropriate posture 2’d’lessen, bephore Sei proceeds vit ready’ng a’d’lessen. d’Video undz d’posture undz d’space pharms part a’d’Liturgy a’d’spiritual quolt (cultlike) aspects a’d’Masculinus Phemininus Phenomenon. Only aphter prayewrphully perpharming diz’sacred rite, should d’lessen be started.

It is also help-phul-o-shyte to set d’recommended song on repeat phor listening during d’ready’ng a’d’lessen. z’student should ready’ng d’lessen aloud. Indeed in deed even shout t’d’mighty heavens! dis’Vill maintain d’proper mindspace in d’echosphere necessary to enable z’student t’achieve optimum assimilation a’d’material.

d’very serious student should ready’ng diz’boox by taking d’phollowing steps:

  1. Walk into d’secret super hero lair in yewr bedroom
  2. Put d’boox into yewr superman saphe protected by crtypography cryptonite
  3. Lock’a d’saphe
  4. Bury d’saphe
  5. Watch some tv while taking a nap
  6. Enter a buddhist meditation position
  7. Close yewr eyes
  8. Make up vaht d’boox says in yewr own mind because lets be pheq’n honest here, yewr probably gonna do a g-d dmnd better job than wemeus did, iph wemeus to be honest tho.

So vit all d’considerations, wemeus present d’phirst video that phorms a part a’d’Liturgy a’d’Philosophistry a’Sacred Masculinus Phemininus, d’Sound a’d’Silence, d’version by Disturbed. d’Sacred Posture phor diz’rite, requires z’student to be standing, on’d’head, pheet together, arms outstretched undz liphted slightly up, palms up as iph holding an ophering to its G-d, G-dz or G-ddezzez. diz’is d’phirst Prayewr a’d’Collectivus called Masculinus Phemininus.

Oz almost phorgate, do’t in d’milk’baphe. Ah d’at be d’g–d watingtings’der.

So, moist a’d’lessen a’diz’lessen is in d’lessen given in d’video undz d’commentary to d’video above which in no way lessens d’rest a’d’lessen that wemeus are lessening here. Iph yew have neinein ready’ng d’lessen in d’video’s commentary or neinein listened to d’lessen in d’video itselph, while diz’in no way lessens yew as z’student, tho to be honest, it does, wemeus recommend undz in phact insist, on yew moving back up there undz doing that. It’s only a couple a’paragraphs undz iph yew cannot dodat, yew might as vell put diz’boox down cause, d’rest a’diz’work is so long that, pheq, it’s gonna wear yewr balls right outta yewr ballsack. So go on. Wemeus vil wait.

Aight, velkim back der’now quozen. So here vaht gonna happen. diz’Part 1, Get’n Started, is going to teach yew d’basics a’d’Quockspeak’n. By d’time yew are phinished with Part 1, yew will be ready’ng undz writing undz speak’n Quockspeak’n at a rudimentary level. Yew are not going to learn all or even most a’d’Weirdein (words) a’d’Quockspeak’n language in Part 1. Rather, yew will get a sense a’how Weirdein work, how they are spoken, d’techniques undz styles a’speaking undz writing, undz an understanding a’d’ideology inherent in d’language. Tho diz’is all rudimentary in Part 1, yew will still be prophicient enough in Quockspeak’n that any Masculinus Phemininus will be able to recognize yew as Kin. So, vaht speciphically will each Section a’diz’Part 1, Get’n Ztarted teach yew?


Recite d’entire Indian Constitution…
While taking a milk bath…
While standing on yewr head…
In d’bathub…
vilst play’n dat’song…

Not too much vater undz milk tho!